Have you been on a nightmare roller coaster with your addicted partner for so long that you don’t know what it would feel like to be on solid ground again?
You tried everything you could think of to help your partner, but nothing worked. And now you are not sure what you feel most of the time except when overwhelmed with anguish, fear, hurt, betrayal, or resentment. You are having trouble thinking straight. You just don’t know what to do.
You are not alone.
Surprisingly, what’s even more confusing is what to do with all of those feelings, especially once your partner goes into or is coming out of treatment. You thought that (treatment) would make it all better, but it has only brought other tensions and painful experiences for you. You don’t know if you should stay or go. How could you (know)? Almost any decision, if made from a place of reactivity, would be a mistake. But then what is the way forward?
It is only by finding your own grounding — which is nearly impossible to do on your own when your brain is spinning in circles. You need to carve out a regular place and time to get your own bearings, come back to alignment with yourself, rediscover what health, peace and wellness are, and create a healthier life for yourself and your family.
Meanwhile, you are confused about how to best engage with your partner. Even if they are in early recovery, you don’t feel better yet. Instead of finally making up for all of the heartache you’ve endured, you find you have very little support from them. They are spending a lot of time in recovery activities (outpatient treatment, support groups, therapy, etc), and when they are home you are afraid of doing or saying the thing that will trigger a relapse (even though it really isn’t your fault.) You may self-identify as a codependent and want guidance in how to support without controlling or enabling. All of that makes it even harder to find and follow what is truly healthy for you.
You want to find peace but can’t seem to do it on your own. I’d be happy to talk with you to see how I can help you find yourself and your right path forward. I encourage you to contact me for a free 20-min consultation today. If I am not the best person for you, I will do my best to lead you in the direction of what you are looking for. Contact me today to get started on your new path.